There are still three weeks remaining of the 2014 World Cup, but England are already condemned to an early exit. So as our attention starts to drift away from Brazil, here are five things to watch over the next week to help take our minds off the England team’s dismal performances.
1. Big Brother (Channel 5, daily)
Like the World Cup, Big Brother is on our screens every day for weeks on end. It too is in its early stages, with just two of 16 housemates evicted.
If you’ve had your fill of footballers cashing in on publicity opportunities, taking up too many column inches in newspapers and generally behaving disgracefully, what better to watch than a bunch of wannabe celebrities seeking to cash in on publicity opportunities, taking up too many column inches in newspapers and generally behaving disgracefully?
2. Wimbledon (BBC, daily) and When Andy Won Wimbledon (BBC1, Monday 10.35pm)
For sport of a more genteel variety, two weeks of The Championships at Wimbledon starts today. While the England football team clocks up its 48th year since its last major tournament victory, Andy Murray ended 77 years of hurt one glorious day last July to become Britain’s first men’s singles champion since Fred Perry in 1936.
BBC1 celebrates the moment with a special documentary this evening telling the story of that memorable day. Murray has helpfully managed to safely negotiate his first round match against Belgium’s David Goffin this afternoon, avoiding the potential embarrassment of the programme being out of date before it’s even shown.
3. Die Hard (Film 4, Tuesday 9pm)
26 years after its original release, Die Hard remains one of my favourite action hero blockbusters.
This is a must-see for anyone determined to see someone getting one over on the Germans, as Bruce Willis in his indestructible white vest takes on and defeats Alan Rickman and his gang of German terrorists to save the day. And he doesn’t even need a penalty shoot-out to do it!
4. Orphan Black (BBC3, Wednesday 11pm)
Season two of sci-fi thriller Orphan Black reaches its penultimate episode this week. Its finale, which aired in the US on Saturday, ends with a real shocker after a series of terrifying twists and turns – a bit like the majority of England World Cup campaigns.
To cut a long story short, the series is about a group of genetically identical female clones, led by a British character with an odd accent. Now if only someone could find a way to clone England’s 1966 World Cup-winning squad, maybe we’d stand a better chance.
5. Glastonbury (BBC, from Friday)
Finally, the weekend sees the start of Britain’s most famous live music festival, Glastonbury,where thousands of fans in varying states of inebriation congregate to watch performers of various styles and nationalities and sing along in a ritualistic fashion with the occasional spot of flag-waving.
This year’s headliners include Metallica, Lily Allen, Kasabian, Arcade Fire and – because my list wouldn’t be complete without another football link – Kaiser Chiefs. That’s a better line-up than anything England are likely to put out in their final game against Costa Rica tomorrow.